Coffee has always been there. In the good, bad and in between, it was always there to make me feel better. Simple and kind of stupid, but true.
Searching for the truths of life is hard. Unfortunately, I’m not going to find them all and/or understand them all. At least not in this lifetime (probably). That’s just how it is, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop wondering and looking. Questions will continue to linger, such as: Why won’t the world find healing? Why can’t I defuse my anger, this absolute rage of fire I’ve always had? How does one go about finding their path? How do you let go of hurt? How does one use their mind to escape this realm? Etc etc etc…
I know these questions may never be answered and the answers may or may not be understood, but the curiosity in me demands to be fed. Being curious is a blessing and a curse. You continue to learn new things and it keeps your mind active and connected but at the same time, those questions just might drive you insane. Sometimes I think I might actually loose my bonkers. I can’t understand why some people move the way they do. I can’t comprehend why we turn to bad decisions and wrong doings. Well, maybe I can. Hurt people hurt people. People also aren’t perfect and fuck up, and some people simply may not know. So I suppose I get it, but damn.
Besides that, I don’t know. Carve your path and cross your fingers? Fuck this shit is hard. I mean no shit dumbass, life was never meant to be easy. I’m not trying to be all Negative Nancy or whatever, just honest. I’ve been working on honesty recently. I don’t have a lying problem, I’m not a psycho. But I want to be more honest with myself and others, just telling it how it is and adjust accordingly. Also working on continuing to be genuine with everything I do and with who I am. People just make it so hard, like y’all really want me to be the villain. But chess, what in the fuck is this rock we’re floating on and what is this nonsense that comes with it? Sometimes I’m the nonsense, which I openly admit, but sometimes, this whole place is nonsense. Prayers sent to God that I become who I’m supposed to be and find some damn peace. Bless my heart. But through it all, there’s always coffee. Queue Coffee by beabadoobee.